I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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