He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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