He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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