return my video game
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Randomize
