bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Randomize
