I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
