maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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