They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
