Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
