Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
