I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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