...so i touched it.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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