She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Someone signed my nipple.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
