Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
