she was so not down for the gang bang
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
