But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
