We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
