So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Just cropdusted the office
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
