if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Bring me that man meat
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
