i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
