He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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