she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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