She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize
