i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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