ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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