I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
