i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
