It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
