I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
