I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
