I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
