your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
it's not cheating when I paid for it
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
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