i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
