let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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