whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
