Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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