Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
