with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
