Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
