I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
