If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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