Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
