im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Randomize
