where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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