soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
