im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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