best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
