Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
