are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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