i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
