i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Couch. On fire.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
