I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Randomize
