WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
