Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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