maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
