You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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