You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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